Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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