You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize