If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize