Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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