I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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