I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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