the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
