i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
