I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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