I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
