"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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