Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
