can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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