everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
