3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
