you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
