Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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