he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize