thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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