I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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