Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Blood and glitter go together right?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize