Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I just blew my weed a kiss
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
