ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
