i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
porn star boner night. come get it.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
