have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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