And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
