Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
