I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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