More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
just tell him i said nine months
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
