let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
