i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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