Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
