Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I want a musical about memes.
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