After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
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I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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