I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
