my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Randomize
