My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Randomize
