Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize