well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
