I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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