hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
