Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
