i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize