Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
