But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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