BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
