Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
