Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
