i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
