Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
