Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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