never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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