I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
