Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
