I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
