The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
dude i'm inner monologue high
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
