Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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