my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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