I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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