the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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