its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
